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dear fuckers, tonight sucked ass for me, my shirt fell open and my tits fell out,and so i went with it and replaced all our lyrics with lyrics about dick, we are in portland we've never played here before , i got so drunk last time i had to go so bored............all we do is waitand wait and
wait..................i have'nt seen my wife shirley tonight which is weird cos we're joined at the fucking hip, i told her, shirley manson armstrong is a very good wholesome scottish name.she calls me her always the guy which is fine cos i bow up easy.go buy the transplants record its the best damn thing and db are listening to diana ross right now sing deep inside that i surrender................andy and tn are playing risk and grand theft, no doubt just went on i can hear 10,000 people screaming, gwen has the best ass in the buisness and shirley
voice is fucking amazing , their records dont do justice to how good she can sing.............
i miss my husband so much its rotten, im so horny,one week to go.tony is playing peaches on the beaches .....anyways here is a picture of me and my wife ......

true fucking love brody "cobra bruce" armstrong

so here we are in denver. its not all that cold, which is good seeing as how we are all from california and cold weather doesnt sit well with us. we had a day off yesterday, we didnt do too much. we watched o brother where art
thou? it was great. on a day off earlier in the week we went to a mall. weird right? and fritch got this water massage in the middle of the mall, it was pretty trippy. we played this game the other day that included us crowd
surfing with only ourselves, kind of a personal mosh. rob from the transplants has joined us on the tour spending most of his day hanging out with us and looking good. dan says that the bees love a good roast. tony has agida. ryan still likes sponge bob. brody got new luggage. mike is asleep
and talking to himself. fritch still loves dell. the other mike still loves hardcore secretley. and i (andy) have been spending my time with my new little friend named swag master, he is my life tech. he opens doors, ties my
shoes, and tastes my food first to make sure it isnt poisoned. and then of course the TN, he is busy picking up something somewhere inconvinient. so thats about it from us, we are going to go to salt lake city tomarrow and zirp in the shade with the white salamander.
peace pickles.

Hi kids! so today, we are in detroit, the show tonight was awsome. we played with this band called "the gutterpunx" wierd name, right? the show was at this place called alvins.(no relation to the chipmunks, i asked) everyone was really cool. mikey, fritch, tony, and i started a barber shop quartet tonight our first song is an ode to dan. we are really good. last night we played in cinccinati, which is brodys favorite city. that show was also
really cool. and the night before that, we played with no doubt in chicago. it was one of the biggest shows of the tour, it was in this gigantic arena that holds like 12 thousand people, it was pretty intense. during no doubt, tony and i walked around the lobby of the arena and we saw this girl projectile vomit all over the place, it was fucked up. the no doubt shows are going really well, they are all really nice people, they treat us real nice. and the food is good. me and brody had the banana cream pie, it was
good. tony and mike moonstomp had the cuurry chicken and they both puked. well, thats about it, its been gooing really good, and everyone is barfing. we will talk to you in a few days. we love you all. by the way, this was written by andy, when i was a kid, my mom wouldnt let me say fart, she made
me say woofie. so they call me woofie now. thanks mom.

OK Babies, this is what hapened the last few days. We had a day off in syracuse, n.y. we saw the movie rules of attracton, it sucked. some jocks called me "hoss", they also called brody a tramp, so we fallowed them thrugh the parking lot talking shit to them, but they ran to their car while telling us how rich they are, and we should "chill out or else the security gaurd will bust us." they all had on bubble jackets. they were total pricks though, it was bogus. then we played a show in rhode island, tonys folks came to the show and his mom made me chicken. she makes the best chicken, i swear to god! we also got bagles, mashed 'taters and gravey, and other shits. the show was rad, if it were opposite day. some punkers got through and moshed on stage with us, wich was pretty cool. the next day was a day off in philly. we went to south street, tony and i had philly cheesesteaks, i bought a magazine, ryan got shoes and....yeah.oh yeah, garbage started on the tour too, we saw them in rhode island. they are really rad. butch vig is super nice, and they way they do their live show is really impressive. it really made me a fan. today we are playing in philly. right now i am sitting in our dressing room/crew shitter watching chinese tv because its the only channel that comes in. i played on a zamboni earlier, it was a '72, trad dude. did you guys know that rob had this michael jordan rookie card, and he was going to save it, and sell it for "mad loot one day" and then when the day arrived to sell it, the card was only worth like 20 bucks because it was cut wrong. total b.s huh? so the moral of this story is.....get dell, macs are only good for like art and shit.
love the distillers.

andrew granelli

hey everyone, we're in milwaukee. woo-hoo.... the tour's been great so far, we've all
been having a lot of fun. fuck sick as a dead dog, yellow snot and blood....tonight we played the city that is most known for 3 , a serial killer and a sitcom. the arcitecture is totally goth an spooky, so much so that we could
have been in germany which would've really sucked . anyways the kids in this town are really rad and sweet. ta........brody we have an early morning tomorrow, so i think it's bedtime for us. until next time...

the distillers

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